Steel Panther – Heavy Metal Rules

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“Heavy Metal Rules man’’. One message is clear: Steel Panther‘s new album is full of heavy metal and nothing else. Well, maybe also a lot of girls and sex. Get ready for the hottest release of the year on September 27th, 2019.

For the people that aren’t familiar with Steel Panther, they are a heavy metal/glam metal band that sings about sex and having sex and anything that has to do with sex. All with a great sense of humor. On top of that, they are great musicians. Something that gets lost in the humor sometimes if you ask me. But lets get back to, like I said before, the hottest album of the year.

After a short intro saying that punk is something that belongs on Mars and that heavy metal rules above anything else, the album starts off with the first song we got to hear from this album: ‘All I Wanna Do Is Fuck (Myself Tonight)’. A song that everybody in the Youtube comments already thought was killer when they heard the ‘‘All I Wanna Do Is Fuck’’ part. And then Steel Panther just kicks it by adding ‘’Myself Tonight’’ to it.

Can we also take a moment to appreciate the video that they made for this song? This is Steel Panther. A good quality, humorous, acting like they are bad actors, video. And that’s just the first song. Already exited for the rest?

You’re Always Gonna Be a Ho’ was the second single we got to enjoy before the release of the album. And yet a gain, accompanied by a great video. They play with drama and create a perfect combination between that drama and comedy. Not one of their greatest songs musically, but definitely one we will be hearing a lot live I can imagine.

Another preview we’ve got before the release of the album was ‘Gods of Pussy’. A name that is qualified for Steel Panther. Man, what can I say? Steel Panther are the Gods of Pussy.

According to the band:

Kiss wrote ‘God Of Thunder,” Def Leppard wrote ‘Gods of War’ and we wanted to get in to the ‘God’ business too. This is an autobiographical description of a day in the life of Steel Panther. So, when you’re feeling a little unsexy and you need to get your mojo flowing and turn up the heat, play this song at 10 and you too can become a God of Pussy.”

Steel Panther

Then, a few days before the release of the album, we were treated to the song and video for ‘Fuck Everybody’. And man, what a difference between the video for ‘All I Wanna Do Is Fuck’. How Hollywood that one was, how green screen this one is. But then again. The song says it: ‘Fuck Everybody’. So from that point of view, the video matches the song perfectly.

So far for the previews we’ve got. Let’s talk about the other songs on this album. ‘Let’s Get High Tonight’ has a killer guitar solo by lead guitarist Satchel. ‘I’m Not Your Bitch’ has an easy, but super catchy riff.

The biggest surprise of the album is the title song ‘Heavy Metal Rules’. Starting off with a piano track, something that I didn’t expect seeing the title. After about 30 seconds it turns into a bad ass song quoting the lead singer of Kiss: Gene Simmons. ‘Gene Simmons said it: Rock ’n Roll is Dead’. Steel Panther will do anything and everything for the power of heavy metal.

Closer ‘I Ain’t Buying What You’re Selling’ is the power ballad I was waiting for on this album. The ‘soft side’ of Steel Panther. Great harmonies between lead singer Michael Starr and lead guitarist Satchel. Together with bassist Lexxi Fox and Drummer Stix Zadinia, they are such good musicians. If you look through the sex and the humor for one second, songs like this show their musical skills. Don’t forget the killer solos and awesome riffs throughout the album as well.

In short: This album is nothing new. It’s Steel Panther like we know them. They always have the same theme and they always will. That’s who they are and that’s who we love. They did give us some great new songs to sing along with and some great videos to show to our friends. But nothing out of their comfort zone and a rather short, only 10 songs for a total of 36 minutes album.

Release date: September 27, 2019
Label: Kobalt Label Services

  1. Zebraman
  2. All I Wanna Do is Fuck (Myself Tonight)
  3. Let’s Get High Tonight
  4. Always Gonna Be a Ho
  5. I’m Not Your Bitch
  6. Fuck Everybody
  7. Heavy Metal Rules
  8. Sneaky Little Bitch
  9. Gods of Pussy
  10. I Ain’t Buying What You’re Selling


  • Music9/10
  • Lyrics/Vocals8/10
  • Production/Mix8/10
  • Artwork/Packaging7/10
  • Originality 6/10
7.6This is Steel Panther like we know them: sexy and metal. Nothing new though, but definitely something cool to show to your friends.
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